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6/23/2006 Mini shoppingBought two of those tank shirts (one pink and one grey) at Old Navy today, which is like, the only clothes i have bought for a month...
And it only took me like, ten minutes. And to my sadness one of my white jacket thingies is tearing a bit in the sleeve where i scrape it along things violently all the time. My mom looks at me in horror mostly when she sees the way I treat my clothes. Never the less, I must ifnd a way to replace the jacket thing. My nails no longer look so fab, I think its because I chip them too often and everything, now they look like shit. I am just full of complaints, arent I?
I better try to be positive for a bit. * Counting blessings * 1) I'm not starving. 2) I have somewhere to live. 3) I can go to school and I dont have to pay for it myself.
4) I have enough spare money to notice my shopping patterns. 5) Even though I am somewhat of a loner, I still have "friends" to talk to.
6) ... I have a phone so I can talk to my friends.
7) I am literate enough to want to write a book. 8) ...I have a computer to write my story on. 9) I... don't have cancer. 10) I have the spare time to count my blessings. Amen. 6/21/2006 DraggingKinda pulling my feet along, hoping for some upturn in my drabby life... Am considering getting a part time job at a bank, either VanCity or TD Bank.. Dunno ~ Just can't get excited about my novel, to write it, think about it, do anything for it... and its kind of sad, because if IM not excited about it, who will be? How can I expect other people to like it then? And it's like ARGHHHHHHH... Sooooo crap life. Finally getting out tomorrow after three whole days of doing nothing at home from morning to night... Looking forward to it, even though painters are in. Even playing with my hammie doesn't make me feel happy and content anymore... Maybe I need to like, spice up my life. In September I will be starting dance again, though. Thank god I have something to look forward to. 6/14/2006 BlaghI read Erica's blog and realized that I too am wasting my summer away..
Like I keep saying, once I get my laptop I'll be able to go to quiet places, away from distractions and work on my story.. But then its like, at least I can work out my messed up plots and ideas now, right? So that when I do get my laptop in August I'll be ready? But I don't... cause it's just like.. I want a break. The thing is my break has lasted about two months now, since school stopped.. I work about 20 hours a week, and spend the rest of my time doing god knows what. But then I think I'm so exhuasted from all these years of what other people want, I am totally slipping away and trying to indulge in everything other people don't want of me.
Highschool was like, the worst time of my life. It's pressure from all sides and after grade eight, I can't remember ever spending six months in a row without sitting in a principle's office chair, all the way until I graduated. I can totally tell my parents are disgusted by the way I waste my time, but the more they do it, the more I am like, this is MY time. Even though it gives me that gut feeling inside when I know they are disappointed in me, it's like, don't tell me what to do. It' my choice. I graduated, I'm in college, so please just leave me alone. At the same time I know it's so selfish because in the long run those things are for my own good. And when I go to school I see the people who are working madly and taking student loans because they want to have the education, and I am just sulking even though I have my parents paying my whole way. I probabaly have the easiest life out of the handful of people I know, but somehow I feel like it's not what I want and I'm so uncontent.
I have to find a way around this... 6/11/2006 Children's book?Feel like writing a kid's book called "Annie and The Shark"..
Not sure what the plot should be, but the phrase came up in a conversation and it was like "that would sound like a cute children's book!" The only trouble with kid's books is that finding a perfect illustrator would be soooo hard... Cause the pictures are all over the place... My co-worker is a writer too, which is nice, and he's done his kid's book and looking for publishers and stuff... wooOooOooOooT! I think I need to put a pause on Darren because the different plots I want are driving me crazy, and before I settle down on it, I wanna focus on a shorter book or something... I think in September I'll be back to serious writing, whether it's the novel or not... I'll have school and work too by then, so I'll just have to juggle my time properly... Probabaly means major cut back on RPGs... When do we start signing up for September courses? 6/2/2006 major bullI am officially not getting allowance anymore because I have a job.
Aren't parents supposed to encourage their kids to work and earn extra money? What ever. I know a bunch of people my age don't get allowance anymore, but the reason just makes me so pissed. Maybe I am just spoiled, I dunno. I should probabaly quit my job anyway, as the summer is a perfect time to work on my story that I haven't touched since JANUARY.
And so far I have just been putting it off.
Thinking about quitting my job.. Even though I get paid double my allowance, I should really use the time to work on my story instead. That's my long term career... Sigh, I dunno.... Because I kinda like the job, and the people are nice and I am finally getting the hang of it... Maybe I'm just wanting to quit cause I'm unhappy about the allowance bit. Cause I basically spend my allowance every month, thats why I wanted to get a job, so I can actually save, but now it's like, well that sucks. Sigh.... Poo. |
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